Thinking Out Loud
by TheBaldOneMpls
Summary: After yet another frustrating mission, an overworked Kim and Ron let off some steam by sharing what's on their minds. The results are surprising to say the least. One-shot.


DISCLAIMER: I, the author, make no claim as to ownership of "Kim Possible" or any of its characters. I write this story solely for my own enjoyment and not to create profit for myself or any other entity. All copyrighted material/characters are owned by their respective copyright holder(s).

* * *

"I'm sorry. It would probably be faster if you walked."

The words, spoken by a cab driver 15 minutes ago, danced through Kim Possible's head again and again. Each time the 20-year-old heard the phrase in her mind's ear she became more and more frustrated. Not quite mad, as mad would require her to be mad at someone. And she wasn't. She was just very, very frustrated. She wanted nothing more than to be back in her apartment to work on her midterm projects, but every little thing today seemed to be against her doing just that.

On a night she wanted to stay home, her mission left her 6,000 miles away in Santiago, Chile.

On a night she wanted to get back home as quickly as possible, Wade was unable to find transportation home until morning.

On a night she wanted to get into her room and sleep as quickly as possible, the only available room was five miles away.

On a night she wanted to avoid any more bad news, the cab broke down a mile away from their hotel.

Frustration after frustration led her to her current mile-long walk in the middle of an unseasonably-humid night in suburban Santiago. Far from her ideal way to spend a Tuesday.

Kim was not alone in her struggles. Beside her was Ron Stoppable, her best friend, boyfriend, roommate, and co-sufferer. He was a bit sweatier than she was thanks in part to the emergency duffle bag of clothes perched on his shoulder, but he carried the load in silence.

Nights like these were becoming more and more common for Team Possible. Complaining about it right now would do nothing. He, like Kim, simply wanted to get into bed and see this frustrating day come to an end.

Thankfully, their walk was at an end. The tired couple arrived at a large building just off the main boulevard. They walked through the revolving door and entered a small lobby. Ron peeled off to a nearby wall and leaned against it as he set the duffle bag down. Kim walked up to the counter, where she was met by a woman who gave her a warm smile.

"_Hola_," said the beaming clerk. "_Español_ or English?"

"English," Kim replied curtly.

"Welcome to _Casa de la Montaña_. My name is Rosa. How can I-"

"Possible," uttered Kim.

"...I'm sorry?" said the confused attendant, her lips still curled in a smile.

The guest let out a sigh. "The name's Possible."

"Oh, of course," Rosa continued. Her smile became a little more strained as she began typing on her computer. "I am so sorry about that. It will take me just a second to pull you up."

Kim nodded. She would have apologized profusely for her rudeness under normal circumstances, but at that moment she was simply too tired to care.

"Alright Miss Possible," the clerk said, "I've got your reservation right here for one night in a non-smoking room with two adults. It looks like payment and incidentals are already taken care of." She swiped a pair of plastic cards through a machine without turning her attention away from her guests. "Did you need a wake-up call?"

Kim internally scoffed at the idea of wanting to be woken up early. It took most of her willpower to keep that scoff internal and simply shake her head instead.

"In that case, you're in Room 725." Rosa, with freshly-printed room keys in hand, began to point at an elevator. "That will be-"

"Thank you," said Kim as she snatched the cards out of the clerk's hand. She instantly turned towards Ron and handed him one of the cards. Ron shoved the card in his back pocket, hosted the couple's bag back onto his shoulder and followed his partner to the elevator.

The pair rode the elevator up to the hotel's seventh floor in silence. Neither hero minded the quiet as they were each in too foul of a mood for chit chat. It had only been an hour since the duo completed their mission of recovering the stolen O'Neill Diamond.

For the ninth time that month.

The gem was a popular target for theft because of its unique and precise cut, which did something almost magical to any light waves that passed through the diamond. Shine some basic house lighting on it and it takes on a beautiful glow. Hit it with a focused beam of light at a very particular angle, however, and that beam becomes a dangerous weapon.

Most of the major villains the team had to deal with through their high school years had moved on to greener and more legal pastures, especially after the alien invasion. That left plenty of room at the top of the criminal world, and a seemingly endless supply of players were trying to fill that void. Taking the O'Neill Diamond seemed to be at the top of every newcomer's wishlist.

Of course, Team Possible was always there to thwart the would-be super-villains' efforts. But their heroic efforts - more specifically, the constant demand for them - was taking a toll on the second-year college students. Successfully balancing world-saving with the pressures of college life was a battle which they lost more often than they won as of late.

The elevator door opened unceremoniously on the seventh floor. Ron and Kim marched down the hallway in silence as they made a beeline for their room. Once there, Ron unlocked the door and held it open for his girlfriend. Kim walked in and went straight for the bed, not bothering to take note of the room's amenities. Ron entered, closed the door behind him and locked it. He dropped the bag with a thud and wordlessly followed Kim to the bed.

Kim collapsed onto the bed back-first, and Ron did the same next to her. The two stared at the ceiling of their room and tried to forget about their frustrating day. Kim tried taking deliberate deep breaths, but her breathing quickly became more and more ragged.

Ron understood what this meant. He reached back, grabbed one of the pillows from the head of the bed, and offered it up to his girlfriend. Kim quickly took the pillow and buried her face in it before unleashing a torrent of screams. Ron couldn't make out exactly what she was screaming, and he was fairly certain he didn't want to.

After a few moments of yelling, Kim pulled the pillow away from her face. The yelling helped calm her down - at least temporarily. Unfortunately, as Kim's breathing slowed down, Ron's began to speed up. Kim took note and handed the pillow back to Ron, who immediately smothered it over his own face and screamed his own series of curses.

Once Ron's frustrations subsided, he placed the pillow between them. The two once again stared at the ceiling in silence. The slight hum of the air conditioner and the occasional heavy sigh were the only sounds that could be heard in their hotel room. It took a few minutes before Kim finally stopped seething long enough to speak.

"So my biology midterm project is due at…" She trailed off, fully aware of the bad news she was about to receive.

"Midnight our time," replied Ron, his voice full of frustration.

"And it is currently…"

Ron turned his attention to the Ronnunicator on his wrist and let out a heavy sigh. "Eleven fifty-nine." Anticipating Kim's response, he grabbed the 'yelling' pillow and threw it back within Kim's reach. Kim grabbed his offering and screamed muffled curses into it once again.

After a few more moments of frustration, Kim set the pillow down, pulled the Kimmunicator out of her pocket, and turned on its digital clock. "Four, three, two, one…" she said as she watched the final seconds of the day tick away.

When the clock struck midnight, she turned to her boyfriend and smiled an unenthused smile. "Congratulations. You are officially dating a C student."

Ron shook his head. "That's only true if _you_ want to officially date a guy that's about to get fired from Smarty Mart. Which reminds me…"

Ron turned his attention back to the device on his wrist. He spotted the flashing symbol that indicated he had an unheard voicemail message and tapped it. He was instantly rewarded with the screaming voice of one of his bosses.

Compared to Ron's old bosses in Middleton, the management team at his new store was far less understanding about his constant absences. The call was far from the first time he had been chewed-out, but he was pretty sure it would be the last. Ron only paid enough attention to the message to pick out the words he expected to hear: "another," "no-show," "unreliable," "you're," and "fired."

"Check that," he said morosely as he disconnected the call, "a guy who _is_ fired from Smarty Mart."

Kim offered up the pillow. Ron grabbed it, brought it to his face, and unleashed one long, harsh yell. The pillow muted his volume, but not his frustration.

Now a bit calmer, Ron set the pillow back down onto the bed. He considered picking it back up for yet another shout but decided against doing so. Meanwhile, Kim got up from the bed and made her way towards their room's entrance. She unzipped their duffel bag, pulled out two sets of clothes, and made her way back to the bedroom. She tossed one of the sets to Ron and took the other one with her as she made her way to the bathroom.

Kim emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. Her dirtied purple and khaki mission clothes were replaced by an oversized white t-shirt and black sleep shorts. Ron, who had changed into a set of blue-and-white striped pajamas, slid under the covers on one side of the bed. Kim did likewise on the other side, and the two once again found themselves staring at the ceiling in silence.

"Why are our lives like this?" moaned Ron.

Kim let out a heavy sigh of her own. "Because… Because you know what happens if we don't do what we do."

"Sure do." Ron deadpanned. "I keep my job, you get the A's you deserve, and we get more than one uninterrupted date per month."

Kim nodded. "That all sounds nice… _really_ nice…" she said wistfully, "but then we'd also have some mad scientist take over the Northern Hemisphere."

"I _knoooooooow_," Ron whined. "It's just… You deserve better than this."

"Well so do you, hon."

"Maybe, but-"

"No buts, Ron," Kim said forcefully. "You worked your butt off to get into the same school as me. You worked your butt off to make the football team. You worked your butt off to do all that _and_ still be a three-time employee of the month! You already had to drop football, and now you've lost your job because some _weirdos_ keep stealing this _stupid_ diamond that the owner can't get _ANY SECURITY FOR_ and it just…" Kim once again grabbed the pillow between them and unleashed a torrent of muffled screams.

Once Kim was done yelling, Ron caressed her arm. "That's so sweet KP, but look at you. You work way harder than anyone else in your classes. You rocked it on the cheer squad until you had to give it up, _and_ you still make time for me... and for what? So your professors can give you C's and D's just because you have to miss midterms so the entire world doesn't _LITERALLY EXPLODE_?" I'm just…"

Ron made a 'gimme' motion towards his girlfriend, and she responded by handing him back the pillow. Again he screamed into the sack of feathers to vent his frustrations. A few screams later and Ron began to calm down again. Kim helped soothe him by rubbing his chest.

"This tanks," Ron said with another sigh. "This really, really tanks."

"No kidding," Kim replied.

Ron turned to his girlfriend. "This is gonna sound really weird, but you know what bothers me the most? The fact that these guys are so _bad_ at it."

"Right?" cried Kim as she sprung to life. Ron's thought connected with her far more than she would have ever guessed. "I mean, I'd hate it if we were going through all this to stop a great villain, but at least it would make sense. But these guys… It's like they failed Theft 101."

"It's like they're not even _trying_ to hide their identities." Ron counted up the new villains' flaws on his fingers. "No masks. No taking out the cameras. No finesse."

"Would it kill them to at least _pretend_ to not wanna get caught? It's like they might as well leave business cards at the scene."

Ron let out a slight chuckle. "Yeah. With a map that leads straight to their secret hideout."

"And they have a big sign outside that says 'Secret Hideout.'" Kim let out a dry laugh. "You know, I never thought I'd say this… but I kinda miss the Seniors."

Ron nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean. I mean, yeah they were weird, but they were..." He cleared his throat before shifting into a vaguely-Spanish accent. "..._Worthy rivals_."

"They sure were," Kim said wistfully. "I wouldn't mind facing them again."

"Even with the Spinning Tops of Doom?"

Kim gave the query a moment's thought. "At this point… yeah. Even with the Spinning Tops of Doom."

"Wow," said a mildly-surprised Ron. "But I totally get it. Almost anybody would be better to deal with than these new guys. Heck, I almost miss Drakken and Shego at this point."

Kim shot her boyfriend a sideways glance. "You only miss seeing Shego in her catsuit."

"Pssh!" Ron rolled his eyes. "She's not really my type."

"Oh, you have a _type _now?" Kim asked with a smile as her mood started to improve.

"Yep," he replied with a grin. "I kinda have a thing for red-headed best friends."

Kim blushed slightly. "That's actually kind of sweet."

"And if that red-headed best friend _just so happens_ to dress up in a catsuit-" Ron's train of thought was interrupted when he got hit by a thrown pillow. He turned towards the smiling perpetrator and gave her a slight nod. "I deserved that," he admitted.

Kim chuckled. "But I know what you mean."

"About the catsuit?"

"About Shego!" Kim lobbed another pillow toward her boyfriend's head. Ron already had his arms up to block the throw in anticipation so it merely fell back onto the bed. "All the others, too. Facing them felt… worthwhile? Like, it took a lot to stop them so it made sense flying all over the world to do it. But these guys almost capture themselves once we show up."

"Yeah," he replied with a nod. "And if she stole that diamond, it wouldn't get stolen again three days later."

"UGH!" Kim cried. "Don't remind me."

"Remind you what?" Ron asked.

"Remind me that the owner is going to put his diamond in the _exact same _place and rely on the _exact same_ security that got it stolen nine times. And when that fails, we're going to come back to the _exact same_ place and do this _exact same _thing all over again!" Kim's head collapsed onto the bed.

"Okay," Ron said morosely. "I won't remind you that all of that is going to happen."

Kim sighed. "Thanks, hon," she muttered.

Ron gave his girlfriend a pat on the shoulder. "Anytime."

"You know, maybe we _should_ call Shego," said Kim as she sat back up and tapped a finger on her chin. "You know… see what she's up to."

Ron shot Kim a questioning look. "You don't _actually_ want Shego to steal that thing so you can fight her, do you?"

"_Nooooo_," Kim replied defensively. "I don't want the diamond to get stolen. I just… wouldn't mind if it went away. And couldn't be found. Ever again." A slight smile crept across Kim's face as she thought of the diamond's disappearance, and Ron was subconsciously nodding in agreement.

"Well it _would_ make the world a better place if that diamond was gone," said Ron. "But as great as that would be, I doubt Shego would be down. I think she's finally getting used to not being on the run all the time."

"Yeah," said a disappointed Kim. "You're right. But as bad as that security is, almost anyone we know could steal it no problem. Even Frugal Lucre could take it."

Ron chuckled. "Junior could probably take it by himself."

Kim found herself smiling at the thought of Junior trying to mastermind anything more complicated than a hair care routine. "Maybe even _Mr. Barkin_ could do it."

Ron let out a snort. "Could you imagine him trying to sneak through an air vent?"

Kim started to laugh at the thought. "Can you imagine what he'd do if he got stuck?"

Ron cleared his throat and channeled his inner Barkin. "All right, security guards, LISTEN UP!" Kim exploded into a deep belly laugh, and Ron quickly joined her. Once the laughter died down, Ron came up with another idea. "Okay, maybe not Barkin by himself. But what if he had the Tweebs helping him?"

"Oh, that's a piece of cake," said Kim. "The Tweebs could probably do it themselves."

"They could totally do it themselves," said Ron. "They'd be good at it."

"They'd almost be as good as us."

Kim and Ron both froze as soon as she said those words.

"I- I mean, not that I would," she quickly stammered. "Not that _we_ would."

"Nope," Ron concurred. "Stealing is wrong."

"So wrong."

"Wrong-sick."

"I've never even thought of it," said Kim.

"Neither have I."

An awkward pause fell over the room.

"Okay, _maaaaaybe _I thought of it once," Ron admitted. Kim instantly gave him a questioning look, and he immediately felt like he needed to defend himself. "I mean, I wasn't _really_ thinking about it, but… Like, think of all the times we watched those security cam videos of Shego dancing in and out of rooms like it was nothing. Sometimes I think… not that you _would_, but… if you wanted to do it, you'd be better at it because you're _way_ better than she was."

Kim's features softened as she turned away from Ron. "I get it."

"Not saying you'd even think about doing it," Ron hastily added.

"No, of course not," Kim eagerly insisted. "Never."

Another awkward pause.

"_Welllll…_" began Kim with a look of embarrassment on her face, "maybe not _never_..."

Ron stared at his girlfriend in surprise. "Are… are you just saying that to make me not feel bad?"

Kim shook her head in shame. "It's… it's sort of like…" She took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. "I always think about what I could have done better after missions. Sometimes… sometimes that becomes 'what _they_ could have done better.' And sometimes I wonder... if _I_ could do it better."

"You totally could," Ron mindlessly volunteered before he realized what he said. "Not saying that you would! Just that… y'know... you could."

A smile crossed Kim's lips. "Thanks…" The smile disappeared. "...I think..."

The room again fell silent. Neither person knew exactly what they should say. The silence lasted for a few moments before Ron decided that the thought in his head needed to be shared.

"So…" he began, "when you're thinking about what you would have done... are you doing it on your own, or…"

Kim nodded. "Yeah. I guess… It sounds weird, but I don't want you to become a thief against your will. Even if it's just in my mind."

"I appreciate that, KP," Ron said with a nod. Once Ron's mind fully _processed_ what Kim had said, he began to panic. "KP, I- I'm sorry. I don't want you to be a thief against your will either," he stammered. "I'll try and-"

Ron's apology was cut off when Kim placed a fighter on his lips. "Ron, it's okay. I'm not mad at you."

"Are… are you sure?"

"Positive," she replied.

"Thanks," he said with a smile. He knew that this conversation could go wrong very quickly in a number of different ways, so her words gave him an odd sense of relief. "I… I wouldn't be mad either."

"Mad about what?"

"About you…" Ron gulped. "About you… thinking of me… with you."

"...Oh."

"Because I would. If you did." Ron was speaking in bursts. "Not saying you would. But _if _you would... then I would."

Kim let out a sigh that was a mix of nervousness and relief. She couldn't help but smile, and she couldn't help but kick herself mentally once she realized she was smiling. She shook the grin off of her face. "Thank you. I mean, not that I would do… er, not that _we_ would do it… but thank you."

"That's what I'm here for," Ron replied with a slight smile. "Even though we're totally not going to do it."

"Absolutely not," Kim insisted. She then took another deep breath. "But hypothetically speaking… if we did decide to play on the evil side of the fence..."

"Which we aren't," added Ron.

"Of course not." Kim lifted a finger into the air. "But if we did, it would be pretty straight forward, wouldn't it?"

Ron nodded. "They still haven't added any sort of security around the perimeter of the building. So… if we were doing this…"

"Which we aren't."

"We aren't," agreed Ron. "But if we were, then all we'd have to do is enter the air vent at the side of the building and we could crawl right into the room where he keeps the diamond."

"He's still only got two cameras for the entire room," she continued. "One of them pans back and forth across the entrance area, and the other one is pointed at the diamond. So... hypothetically speaking," she said, as much to remind herself as to remind Ron, "if we could time it right, we could drop down out of the entrance camera's range and sneak around it before it panned back."

"Totally," said Ron. "And if we stayed along the side of the room, I could walk right under the second camera and… hypothetically… take it offline."

"Exactly," Kim agreed with a bit more enthusiasm than she intended. "And the guys that monitor the cameras are still off-site. Even if they notice the camera going off right away, we'd still have five minutes to take it and run. Hypothetically, of course."

"Of course," Ron agreed. "And all that he has for the diamond itself is that pressure-sensitive stand."

"A cheap one at that," noted Kim.

"So all we'd have to do… hypothetically," Ron added almost as an afterthought, "is a quick switch with a bag of sand, like in that one movie."

"Then we jump back into the air vent-"

"And crawl out undetected with the diamond."

Kim sighed. "We make it sound so easy," she said in a mix of wonder and worry.

"Yeah," said Ron in amazement. "We really do."

A slight scowl crossed Kim's face. "But even if we did all of that…"

"Which we won't," both said simultaneously. Neither person thought to call jinx.

"...then we have to figure out what to do with the diamond," Kim continued. "I mean, we would want it to go away, right?"

"Right."

"And we can't exactly throw it in the trash and hope nobody notices it."

"Well…" Ron began, "I _might_ know a guy who has access to a weapon that could chop a diamond into dust."

Kim raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Really?"

"Well, yeah. Hypothetically." Ron's eyes widened when his brain registered that he was talking about things he was still sworn to secrecy about. "Actually," he desperately added, "_double_ hypothetically."

"Double hypothetically?" Kim asked.

"You know what? Forget I said anything."

Kim let out another sigh. "That's probably something we _both_ should do. We talked about this _waaaaay_ too much."

"Yeah, we… we really did." Ron held up a finger to make a point. "But that's all we did."

"True."

"Talking's a good way to get our feelings out there and relieve some stress."

"Yes it is," Kim said with a nod.

"It's like the old saying goes, the couple that talks about stealing together stays together."

"I… I don't think that's a phrase," said Kim. "But you're right… kind of. It helped me let out some steam, and I… I actually feel a lot better."

Ron smiled. "That's awesome, KP. I do too."

Kim's expression matched that of her boyfriend. "Besides, that's all it is: talk."

"Absolutely."

"Just because we talk about it doesn't mean that we'll actually do it."

"Exactly," Ron said with enthusiasm. "This is one of those things that can just be a fantasy."

"Mmm-hmmm," said Kim. "Like you launching your boss out of a canon."

"Or you telling off your professor."

"Or me dressing up like J.P. Bearymore."

"Hey," interjected Ron. "That was no fantasy. That was a bad burrito nightmare."

Kim smirked. "That's not what you were saying in your sleep."

Ron's eyes narrowed. "It was a _confusing _bad burrito nightmare."

"Mmmm-hmmmm," replied Kim with more than a hint of doubt in her voice.

"It's like the old saying goes: You stray from the Naco, your mind goes around the block-o."

Kim threw Ron another questioning glance. "I don't think _that's_ a phrase either."

"Besides," Ron continued, desperate to change topics. "That's in the past, and I'm not going to focus on the past. The Ron-Man is all about the future."

"Uh-_huh_," said Kim. "And what exactly _is_ in the future for The Ron-Man?"

"Tomorrow: Getting my mind out of the dumps with a full day of playing Zombie Mayhem 6!" he said with a huge smile on his face. That smile began to fade when he saw his girlfriend's disapproving gaze. "Ummmm… a _half_-day of playing Zombie Mayhem 6?"

"Keep going," said Kim.

Ron sighed. "Updating my resume, filling out applications, then watching the romantic comedy of your choice?"

"Much better," Kim said before kissing Ron's cheek. "Although, you could change that last part to 'teaching me how to play Zombie Mayhem 6' if you want."

"Deal!" cried Ron enthusiastically. "So what will you do before game time?"

"Well, _my_ plan for tomorrow is to finish off the biology midterm and turn it in for partial credit. Then I'll explain what happened today and hope she'll give me a chance to earn extra credit. And if not, well… I'll just have to work harder for the rest of the semester." She started to lay back down before a light bulb went off in her head. "Oh! And I have to write an apology letter to the woman at the front desk."

"I think I saw a pen and some paper on the desk by the door," said Ron. "Want me to go grab it?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'll get it in the morning. Besides," she said as she placed the index and middle finger of her left hand on Ron's stomach and began walking them up his chest. "That's a tomorrow thing, and right now I'm thinking about a _tonight_ thing…"

"Actually…" Ron began, a hint of apology in his voice. "After everything that's happened today… are you okay with just cuddling?"

If Kim was disappointed, she hid it well behind a warm smile. "I am _always_ okay with cuddling," she said. She gave Ron a quick kiss before she turned her back to him to assume the 'little spoon' position. Ron draped an arm over his girlfriend's waist and the two quickly found their familiar places.

"This is nice," said Kim once the pair had settled in. She then wriggled herself tighter against Ron's body, far closer than usual. "This is nicer."

"KP, I know exactly what you're trying to do," Ron said dryly.

"Is it working?" she asked, her voice dripping with faux innocence.

"Absolutely," he replied just before his lips found the side of her neck. Kim giggled at the success of her plan, then moaned in appreciation. Ron moved his arm up from Kim's waist towards-

_Beep Beep Be-Beep_

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" cried Kim in disbelief as Ron collapsed back onto the bed behind her with an annoyed groan. "RIGHT NOW? RIGHT NOW?"

The device beeped again. Kim choked back her anger, grabbed her Kimmunicator from the table beside the bed, took a deep breath to calm herself, and hit the 'answer' button. "Go Wade."

"Hey Kim," the tech guru began. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"Nope," she said as she tried - and failed - to hide her annoyance.

"Well you look kinda mad," Wade continued, "so I figured that I-" He paused as a wave of realization hit him. "Did I just interrupt-"

Kim cut him off by holding up her free hand. "Just… tell us what's up."

"Well I've got good news and I've got bad news," said Wade. "The good news is that you'll have a ride out front in about 15 minutes."

Some semblance of a smile crept across Kim's face. "You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that. I am _so_ ready to head home."

"_Welllll_…" he continued, "that's the bad news."

Kim's semi-smile disappeared instantly. "Don't tell me that the-"

"The O'Neill Diamond has been stolen again," Wade finished on her behalf. "I'll have everything you need to know sent to the Kimmunicator by the time your ride pulls up." With that, Wade ended the call and the screen went black.

Kim slowly set her device on the nightstand beside the bed. She then reached for the screaming pillow and tried to pull it to her side of the bed, but the pillow resisted. She turned to see that Ron, who had heard every word of the conversation, was trying to do the same thing.

The couple exchanged looks and came to an unspoken compromise. Instantly, Ron released his grip on the pillow. Instead of placing it over her mouth, Kim held the pillow upright between her face and the face of her boyfriend. Each half of the couple buried their faces into the pillow and let out a muffled string of profanities, curses, and anatomically-impossible suggestions for whoever stole the diamond.

Once the screaming ended, the couple collapsed back onto the bed. They once again found themselves staring at the ceiling in silence, contemplating where it all went wrong.

"Ron, I need to ask you something," said Kim as she continued to stare upward, "and I need you to be one-hundred percent honest with me."

"Shoot."

"What's your policy on dating diamond thieves?"

Ron turned towards Kim, took her head into his hands, and turned her head so that they were eye-to-eye. "KP, I don't want to hear any crazy talk. You are _not _going to steal the O'Neill Diamond."

Kim frowned. "But Ron, I-" Her retort was cut off when Ron placed a finger over her lips.

"Kim, _you_ are not stealing the O'Neill Diamond. **_We_** are stealing the O'Neill Diamond."


End file.
